What do you do with grief that feels gray? Which compartment do you stuff it in when it’s not black, suffocating, agonizing, blaring, or concrete? Is there such a thing as “gentle grief?” Can it even be called “grief” if your heart still feels settled in your chest? What do you do when grief is […]
I never knew it was possible To fall in so love with every tree, each leaf, the way they quiver individually and yet collectively…the sound of the world breathing. I never knew it was possible To feel so at ease, so at home in one place, on this planet. But somehow it is. And somehow
Falling into the Collective Whole Read More »
I cannot remember the books I’ve eaten more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me. ―Ralph Waldo Emerson We are dating. Despite my boyfriend’s head filling my lap, I peruse my textbook and try to memorize important facts for our shared humanities class. Arin has yet to purchase his, though
Becoming the Books We Read Read More »
Grayson, my Autistic seventeen-year-old son, has been home from boarding school this week getting his wisdom teeth removed. He doesn’t very speak often of his Autism, but this morning, he asked me–quite out of the blue–what it was like when I found out he was Autistic. He wanted to know if it made me like
Un-Autistic Feeling Autism Read More »
“We fail to understand the Divine, not because we aren’t able to extend our concepts far enough, but because we don’t know how to begin close enough.” –Abraham Heschel- August 15, 2022 I took the kids to eat at a fast food restaurant yesterday after church. The Cracker Barrel had waiting lines out the door,
“Close Enough” Divine Encounters Read More »
July 5, 2022 I am mid-stride in the kitchen when the darkness hits. Without warning, it rolls in as quickly as the afternoon thunderstorms, although my darkness feels much more smothering and muggy. Siphoning my breath and dousing my previous exuberance, the darkness accosts me, demanding an immediate account for my actions: What have you
The Sinewy Connections of Life, Death, Longing, and Fear Read More »
July 3, 2022 “Your Aspens look diseased,” my mom offhandedly remarks from the breakfast table overlooking one of our many new-to-us Aspen groves. “You could get an arborist to come up here and take a look,” she suggests. Instantly, my chest tightens with stress—yet another expense, one more item on my to-do list, and my
July 2, 2022 My eyes flicker open to the dark outline of a mountain, and I blink repeatedly, willing the looming shape to disappear, yet simultaneously praying it wouldn’t. This inner disparity makes me feel instantly crazy, for the decision to move was mine. I had driven the real estate search (much to my husband’s
I Went to the Woods Read More »
Like scattered toys, the firetrucks and ambulances were parked willy-nilly as if dropped from the hand of a careless child. We maneuvered our car in and out between them. I just wanted was a candy bar. As I paid the yawning attendant with glazed-over eyes, I politely tried to sneak a peek at the scene
Death at a Gas Station Read More »
It is said that around the time that Christopher Columbus set sail, the English pirate Drake was raking Spanish holdings up the west side of the Americas. As Columbus sailed into the unknown, his fearful crew was allegedly on the brink of mutiny—mutiny, rather than come to the edge of…whatever. In this perilous atmosphere, Columbus
Another Day: “Sailed On” Read More »
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